


I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

by Moriartied



Category: AFI
Genre: For organizational purposes, I wrote this when I was 16, I'm transferring all my work from elsewhere, Kinda Sad Ending?, M/M, fluff no smut, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-02
Updated: 2008-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6145253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriartied/pseuds/Moriartied
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Jadam Christmas fic. Title is basically a summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

Jade tugged at the cheap synthetic beard around his face. It was at least 90° in the Ukiah mall, and he was completely incased in three inches of foam to boot. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and took a swig of water from the red and green thermos next to him. He had just set it down when Wendy the Elf plopped another bawling five-year-old onto his lap. “Jingle Bell Rock” was playing for about the hundredth time from a bad quality boom box hidden behind a one eyed snowman, and a fluorescent light above was flickering constantly, creating a near strobe effect. He massaged his temples, which briefly relieved the pain of his worse-than-a-hangover headache.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” he asked the snot-nosed child on his knee.

“Mon’ca” the little girl replied almost inaudibly, not looking up from her shoes.

“And what would you like for Christmas, Monica?”

The little girl smoothed a wrinkle in her red leggings.

“I-I want a puppy.” She mumbled. Then she glanced up, “Please?” Jade frowned, as if deeply considering.

“Well, we’ll see what Santa can do. Merry Christmas, Monica.”

The little girl leaped off his lap without waiting for Wendy the Elf to come collect her. Jade looked at the giant clock on the wall. Almost nine thank God. He could think of so many better ways to spend Christmas Eve, none of them involving bratty children or plastic reindeer whose motors were stuck and made a god-awful clicking noise as they tried to bend their heads down to the white linoleum floor which was covered in cotton balls. He looked up at the skylight, but it was pitch black outside. He’d always dreamed of a white Christmas, but they were rare in California, and the last one that had occurred in Ukiah was one of the years he was at UC Berkeley studying philosophy.

Which appeared now to have been a tremendous waste of time and money. Mall Santa was just the latest of his countless temp jobs this year. Jade was a musician, but hadn’t had any success since his college band broke up almost ten years ago. They’d only put out one EP which failed so miserably that the record company didn’t even bother to call to let them know they were dropped. After that, they’d all gone their separate ways. Hunter went to play bass for a popular children’s TV show, Davey started a clothing line, and Adam went into the advertising business. Hunter and Dave both lived in LA, and aside from an annual Christmas card, Jade hadn’t kept in touch with them. Adam had gotten married about five years ago and moved back into his parents’ house in Ukiah, about twenty minutes from Jade’s apartment. They had gone out for coffee a few times, but they were from two completely different worlds now, and quite honesty, Adam’s success made him envious. Jade wished he had a stable job, a house of his own. He wanted a family to come home to, maybe even a daughter or a son to run into his arms shouting “Daddy!”

Instead he worked up to three jobs at once, and then barely got by. He had friends, but barely any time to spend with them. And he was always exhausted.

He stifled a yawn. The line that had begun forming nearly seven hours ago was finally dwindling down. He’d be out of there in ten minutes. And then he could go, well, home. By himself. Ryan and Nick had invited him to a concert, but by the time he got done work it would be too late. So Christmas Eve would be just another night spent on the couch, coffee in one hand, TV remote in the other.

He wished Wendy the Elf a Merry Christmas, and went into the storeroom to lose the padding that was slowly suffocating him. He stuffed the wig and beard into his bag and went to do some last minute shopping for his brother Smith who was coming for dinner on Christmas Day. Then he made his way to the door, wishing unemotional Merry Christmases to the shop-owners as he passed on autopilot. The sliding doors opened and he was hit by an unexpected blast of icy cold winter air. He blinked a few times to register the sight before him. The parking lot was completely covered in a thick blanket of white. He looked up, expecting the light flurries that were the norm for California, and instead met with a blizzard.

His first thought was that he’d finally have his white Christmas.

His second thought was how the hell would he drive home in this?

He pulled the Santa hat down over his ears, and wrapped the velour coat tighter around him, although it didn’t really do much good, and began trekking through the snow, which was about five inches deep already. Thankfully his car was parked nearby under the sky bridge that connected the two halves of the mall, so it wasn’t completely covered in snow.

He made it out of the parking lot about twenty minutes later. The main road wasn’t too bad. Of course, no one had expected this “freak snowstorm” as the radio told him, so no salt trucks had been deployed, and the plows would be delayed until morning.

He had made it about halfway home, his trusty Toyota conquering the road with ease, when he was met with flashing orange lights and a “ROAD CLOSED” sign. He cursed out loud. The detour would take an extra twenty minutes at least.

He turned onto the detour road, whose conditions were significantly worse than the highway. He downshifted for better traction going down a hill, and then accelerated up the next hill, only to see one ten times its size up ahead. He put the car fourth gear and prayed. Halfway up he felt the wheels slipping. He knew if he tried to continue forward, he’d slide back down the hill, so he pulled over to the side and put on the emergency brake. Thank God Triple A was open 365 days a year. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket only to see that dreaded battery symbol. The moment he flipped it open, it buzzed and went dark.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Jade burst, throwing phone at the dashboard. The migraine from earlier was coming back in full force. He turned on his hazard lights. He just had to stay calm. Nothing good could come out of a panic attack now. Someone would surely come along soon.

He looked out at his surroundings. There were no houses on this stretch of road, but it looked vaguely familiar. He wondered how far to the nearest gas station. Maybe there was one on the other side of the hill. He left his flashers on and got out of the car. The air was bitingly cold and he almost instantly regretted his decision. It’d be better just to wait it out in the car than try to walk anywhere and most likely freeze to death.

He tugged on the door handle only to find it locked behind him. And his keys were still inside.

Jade had always made fun other people who bought fancy cars that wouldn’t lock with keys in the ignition. How could anyone be that stupid to lock a running car? Now he kicked at a snow bank, muttering obscenities under his breath.

He walked around to the other side of the car, but all those doors were locked too. After ten minutes of pounding on the window, his adrenaline rush started to fade and panic set in. What if no one came by until morning? What if the snow got worse? His car already had an inch on it, what if it was completely buried? He began pacing back and forth, partially to try and stay warm, but mostly because he didn’t know what else to do. Soon he would start hyperventilating and it would go downhill from there.

Suddenly he saw a light from above. Was this the end? Was an angel of death coming to take him away? A second later he laughed at that ridiculous thought. The cold was doing funny things to his head; it was just a car.

A car?! He was saved!

The car crept down the hill and came to a stop a few feet from him. It was a brand new Land Rover, much better for snow than his Camry. The driver rolled down his window.

“Do you need some help, sir?” he shouted over the noise of the wind. Jade recognized that voice.

“Adam?” he called back.

“Jade?! Are you okay? What happened?” Adam asked, hurrying out of his car. He was wearing jeans and a long sleeved button down, and looked like he was about to freeze to death.

“Couldn’t make it up the hill, cell phone died, then I locked myself out,” Jade explained, his teeth chattering. “What are you doing out so late?”

“Power’s out at our house. I had to get flashlights and candles because Haley can’t sleep without a nightlight.” Jade noticed how Adam’s face lit up when he talked about his daughter. “Do you want to come home with me? You could spend the night and then we could figure this all out in the morning?” Adam offered.

“No, I couldn’t impose like that. Not on Christmas Eve. Could I just borrow your cell and call Triple A?”

“They might not get here for an hour. Come to my place, I insist.”

“Are you sure? Sarah won’t mind?”

“Not at all.” He turned back to the car, and Jade followed.

The car was warm, and made Jade feel pleasantly sleepy. The radio was quietly playing Christmas carols, but Jade didn’t really mind. Waves of nostalgia washed over him, remembering all the times Adam had come to his rescue in college. Adam always knew what to do to soothe his anxieties. He observed the ease with which Adam maneuvered the SUV onto a windy side road, the same ease that he possessed in all aspects of his life. Adam was always cool, calm and collected. He never let his emotions get the best of him, and he always kept his head. Jade wished he had Adam’s easy disposition. Instead he was prone to unnecessary worry, stress, anxiety… he was incapable of compartmentalizing, something that seemed to come naturally to Adam.

They pulled into Adam’s driveway. The house was completely dark, but illuminated but the one running street light. He could see Christmas lights lining the windows and the light post. Even in the dark of night the house looked warm and inviting. Adam parked the car in the driveway, and they got out.

“Thank you, Adam,” Jade said, as they walked up to the front door. “Doing this on Christmas Eve? It’s really great of you.”

“It’s nothing really,” Adam said warmly.

“It’s not just this; it’s everything you’ve ever done for me. You’re awesome.” Jade grinned sheepishly. “Thanks.”

“Anything for Santa Claus,” Adam chuckled. Jade joined in laughing. He had always loved Adam’s teasing.

The door opened before they got to it, and Adam’s wife Sarah stepped outside holding a finger over her lips.

“Quiet, Haley just fell asleep,” she whispered. “Oh, hello Jade.”

“Hi Sarah, how are you?” Jade grinned.

“Exhausted,” She sighed.

“Jade’s going to spend the night, he had car trouble. Are there blankets in the hall closet?” Adam asked. Sarah nodded.

“And pillows are in the chest. Watch out for the toys on the living room floor, I didn’t have time to clean them up.” She stifled a yawn. “Well, I’m going up to bed. Haley will probably wake up around six to open presents.” She kissed Adam quickly on the cheek and took a flashlight to go upstairs.

Adam led Jade into the living room. “Sorry about the mess…” he motioned towards the American Girl Doll setup in the middle of the floor, half of Molly’s clothes were in heaps nearby, and miniature furniture was scattered haphazardly.

“It’s cute,” Jade grinned. “It’s nice to see someone else’s mess for once, I get so tired of my own. I think having a family would be nice.”

Adam nodded slowly, “It is.”

Jade raised an eyebrow.

“No, no, Haley’s great. Just sometimes… I don’t know.” Adam trailed off.

“Is it Sarah?” Jade puzzled.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that sometimes I feel like something is missing.” He shrugged. “But it’s no big deal really. I love Haley to death. Being a father is truly amazing.”

Jade nodded. “I can imagine it would be.”

“Have you ever thought about kids?” Adam asked.

Jade shrugged. “I’ve never found the right person to settle down with.”

Adam nodded, understandingly. He went to the closet to get the sheets. “Do you want anything?” he called. “Coffee? Tea? Eggnog?”

“You really don’t have to,” Jade responded earnestly.

“I’ll get two eggnogs.” Adam chuckled. He returned to the living room a few minutes later with two glasses. “So what have you been up to, Jade? You never talk about yourself.”

“Oh, you know, this and that. I’ve played a few gigs with a band from San Francisco, but it’s just not the same.” Jade sighed. “I miss playing with you guys. Did you know that I used to imagine us being together forever, just the four of us, living in an apartment like we did in our senior year at Berkeley? I just felt so… safe, then. You know?”

Adam nodded. “I used to want that too.”

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” Jade smiled sadly. “And anyway, you guys are all super successful and happy. It worked out for the best.” He took a sip of the eggnog, the bourbon warming his throat.

Adam shook his head. “My company just laid off sixty people. I could be next. But I wouldn’t miss the job. The only reason I’ve kept it is to be able to support Haley and Sarah. It’s just a job. Music should have been my career.”

“You would have hated that life.” Jade took another sip of his drink.

“Not if we’d been together. As a band. It could have been amazing.”

Jade didn’t answer for a minute. “Maybe,” he said finally. “But there are too many ups and downs. I need stability. This life… sometimes, well you know how I get. Sometimes the panic attacks are so bad I don’t think I can take it. But then I think about what you would do and—” he stopped abruptly. He couldn’t believe he had just told Adam that. He could feel his cheeks reddening. He hastily took a gulp of the eggnog.

Adam, on the other hand, appeared unfazed. “I wish I had known, Jade. I know the band’s breakup was hard, for all of us. Is there anything I can do?” He seemed genuinely concerned. Jade felt extremely embarrassed. Maybe it was the bourbon. Liquor had always loosened his tongue.

It was definitely the Bourbon that made him say what he said next.

“I used to be in love with you, Adam.”

Adam’s expression faltered for an instant. Jade wasn’t sure what that look had been. Anger? Disappointment? He drained the glass of eggnog while Adam hesitated.

“I—” Adam began.

Jade cut him off. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. It was ages ago.

“No,” Adam chewed on his lip. Jade had always loved that. “I never knew.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Jade assured. “I never would have done anything about it.”

“It would have mattered to me.” Adam said quietly.

“What?”

“Four years, Jade. Four years I spent mooning over you.”

“But… why?” Jade was shocked.

“I thought you were incredible, Jade. You were gorgeous, talented, fun, sensitive. Everything I wished I was.”

“I was a mess. I could barely function. You couldn’t possible have wanted to deal with all that.” But even as he said it, Jade realized it wasn’t true. Adam had always been the one to calm him down, to make him feel better. Adam had stayed up with him in the middle of the night, reminded him that the world was not, in fact, ending. Adam had been his support, and in turn he had trusted Adam with everything. Just like he did now. “When you left the band, you broke my heart.”

Adam lowered his eyes. “It was breaking my heart to stay, thinking you didn’t love me like I loved you. But the pain didn’t go away after I left.”

“But you were so happy when you married Sarah.”

Adam shook his head. “We only got married because she was pregnant. I loved my child, but Sarah… Sarah and I don’t have the connection I had with you. She’s a wonderful girl, a wonderful mother, but she’s not what I need.” His eyes were moist. Jade unconsciously inched closer on the couch. “Jade, I know what’s missing now.” He reached out and cupped Jade’s cheek with his palm.

Jade pulled away, “Adam, we can’t! Sarah—”

“Sarah won’t know. It’s okay, I promise. We’ve both wanted this for so long, we deserve it.”

Jade knew Adam was just trying to rationalize, but… he did want this. He wanted it so much. He knew if he did this he could never go back, but— it was decidedly worth it. He suddenly felt ridiculous in the Santa suit, but Adam didn’t seem to mind.

Adam leaned closer so he mouth was next to Jade’s ear. “Jadey, please,” he murmured. “I want you. I need you.”

Jade’s body tensed and then relaxed. He moved his head slightly, and suddenly their lips were pressed together. Adam gripped the back of Jade’s neck, his tongue sliding into Jade’s mouth with furious passion.

When they finally pulled apart to breathe, Jade was tingling in every part of his body. It was as if Adam had lit all of his nerves on fire.

Adam pushed Jade back on the couch and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. Jade rested his hands on Adam’s hips as Adam kissed him again. Jade felt Adam’s erection pressed against his stomach, and his own member throbbed. Adam sucked on his bottom lip causing Jade to moan with pleasure.

“I love you, Jade,” Adam whispered. “You’re beautiful.”

Jade was panting so hard that he was unable to reply, merely nod and pull Adam closer.

Suddenly Adam tensed and turned around.

“D-Daddy?”

Jade’s stomach flipped. He could see Haley in the stairway, illuminated by the glow of a flashlight, her blonde ringlets askew from sleep. She rubbed her eye with her tiny fist.

“Daddy? Are you kissing Santa Claus to get better presents for me and mommy?”

Jade suppressed a snort. He put his hand reassuringly on the small of Adam’s back.

“Yes sweetie,” Adam said, thinking quickly,” But if you see him, he’ll have to leave and never come back. And that would be terrible, right?”

“It would be ruined.” Haley said, horrified by the thought that Santa might not return.

“So go back to bed, sweetie. And don’t tell mommy or Santa will be sad.”

Haley nodded, her curls bobbing. She turned and scampered back up the stairs. Adam sank into Jade’s waiting arms.

“I’m so sorry Adam,” Jade murmured.

“No. It’s my fault.” Adam mumbled in reply.

Jade hesitated. “Are we going to… do anything about it? I don’t want to ruin your family.” Jade rested his chin on Adam’s shoulder. “This was amazing, Adam, but it’s okay if it doesn’t work out.”

“No, it’s not. That’s what I told myself before I left. But it wasn’t okay. I need you Jade.” He moved so they were face to face. “Leaving Sarah may be wrong, but staying with her when I don’t love her like I love you is worse.” He stroked Jade’s honey blond bangs.

“But, Haley. This would hurt her more than anything in the world,” he spoke from experience, having grown up in a divorced family. “I can’t let you do this Adam!” Tears came to his eyes, but he knew it was the right decision. Adam had a family, he would be okay. And Jade knew he would be okay now too, just knowing that someone loved him. He kissed Adam gently on the cheek. “You should go upstairs to Sarah. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Adam slowly lifted himself from the couch. “I love you Jade,” his voice cracked. He turned to leave, hesitating at the foot of the stairs as if waiting for Jade to call him back. But Jade did not speak. He didn’t trust himself not to take Adam into his arms and never let him go. But letting go was for the best. He waited until he heard Adam’s footsteps vanish down the hallway and a door click shut, then he went into the kitchen to use the phone.

Twenty minutes later he was in a taxi headed back to his apartment. Alone again on Christmas Eve. But this year, with the snow now falling peacefully outside, a cup of hot chocolate in his hand, a Hallmark Christmas Movie on television, and the knowledge that he was passionately and eternally loved, he was not lonely or sad. Instead he felt warm all over. He would remember that night for the rest of his life.


End file.
